Well my Tuesday game got rained out, but we played Mountain Christian tonight and won 30 to 11. We scored 17 runs just in the 1st inning alone. Our whole team seems to be coming together offensively and defensively. My friend Mike hit another home run tonight as well. I really have no idea how I did tonight personally. I either went 3 for 4 or 3 for 5 or at least I think. If I get the real numbers I will add a comment. Anyway it was a good game.
Hope everyone enjoys their Memorial day weekend. Later...
-Mike
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Friday, May 16, 2008
When does it get easier?
Yesterday when I went to pick up Ellie and Joshua from Mikes moms house, Joshua was walking with one of those toys to help them learn to walk. I know that I should be excited because my little man has learned something new bit it made me a little sad because I missed it. I had to watch the video of him instead of being the one taking the video. Am I really crazy for having those feelings? I feel like as a parent Mike or I should be there for these such events. It was hard with Ellie and I thought it would be easier this time but it isn't. Please don't misunderstand, I am so very thankful that we Mikes mom is there for us to watch the kids, because otherwise we might have had to move to outer Mongolia so that I could be a stay at home mom. It still tugs on the heart strings when you miss firsts, if that makes any sense.
I think I feel guilty that I am not able to be there for my children like my Mom was for me. I know that times were different and I know that we didn't have a lot growing up but I think I am a much better person because of the sacrifices she and my dad made. It's funny but just the other day I was talking to Kera and we were talking about the kids growing up and how it sometimes feels like they are already have. When I watch Ellie sometimes it almost seems like she is a teenager instead of a four year old. She wants so much to be a "big girl," that my heart aches cause I want her to enjoy being four. I can remember my mom and dad telling me the same thing when I was a kid and how before I knew it I would be older. Parents are so wise, I love you mom and dad! It reminds me of the song "Don't Blink," because truly it does seem that it happens that fast.
You have to learn to trust the Lord that He truly is going to take care of your children when you are not with them. I find it funny but even when I leave them with either set of grandparents or even my sister parents I struggle a little bit. It definitely has gotten better but I know that I still have a ways to go before I have completely given them into the Lord's hands. I know that they will do everything in their power to keep them safe but I still have to trust. It is truly a weird place to be , I guess this is all hitting me because we are letting Joshua spend the night for the first time tonight.
Anyway here is the video of him walking, at the end it almost seems like he celebrates his accomplishment. I you don't smile I think there might be something wrong with you, ha ha.
I think I feel guilty that I am not able to be there for my children like my Mom was for me. I know that times were different and I know that we didn't have a lot growing up but I think I am a much better person because of the sacrifices she and my dad made. It's funny but just the other day I was talking to Kera and we were talking about the kids growing up and how it sometimes feels like they are already have. When I watch Ellie sometimes it almost seems like she is a teenager instead of a four year old. She wants so much to be a "big girl," that my heart aches cause I want her to enjoy being four. I can remember my mom and dad telling me the same thing when I was a kid and how before I knew it I would be older. Parents are so wise, I love you mom and dad! It reminds me of the song "Don't Blink," because truly it does seem that it happens that fast.
You have to learn to trust the Lord that He truly is going to take care of your children when you are not with them. I find it funny but even when I leave them with either set of grandparents or even my sister parents I struggle a little bit. It definitely has gotten better but I know that I still have a ways to go before I have completely given them into the Lord's hands. I know that they will do everything in their power to keep them safe but I still have to trust. It is truly a weird place to be , I guess this is all hitting me because we are letting Joshua spend the night for the first time tonight.
Anyway here is the video of him walking, at the end it almost seems like he celebrates his accomplishment. I you don't smile I think there might be something wrong with you, ha ha.
Here are a couple of pictures that I took yesterday of our two cuties! Joshua loves playing with the keyboard and mouse, I guess he might follow in his daddy's footsteps. He also really, really loves bath time now because he can get in the big tub with Ellie. Amazingly he was not afraid of the jets or bubbles when we turned them on. I had to take the one of Ellie sleeping because this is about the only time that you can keep her still, when she is passed out. 
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
They Won, They Won!!
Finally good news from the Buslers. Last night our church softball team won, wahooo! The score was 18 to 6, great job guys!!This was a good game where it seemed that we had both offense and defense. My wonderful husband had 3 hits and at least one RBI. Our friend Mike had two 3 run home runs which were pretty awesome and certainly helped out. For anyone interested the games are mostly on Tuesday nights with a couple happening on Thursday nights. The games start at 6:30PM and our home games are at Grace which is on 22 right across from the Wendy's. You will have to ask Mike about where the other games will be held if you are interested.
Last night turned out to be a really great night for a baseball game. I am praying that Friday will be as nice as we are going to our first Orioles game of the season. We decided to go to this one because it is a fireworks night. I am really excited as I think the Orioles have a great chance of proving all the critics wrong. We should have a good game because the pitcher should be Garrett Olson who has been doing exceptionally well since coming up to the majors.
I am also a little anxious as we are going to let Joshua stay overnight for the first time. I know that he will be ok just as Ellie has been when she has spent the night away. It will be good to have a night out without having to worry about the children but I still feel a little guilty. I wanted to do this now as we consider the possibility of leaving him while we go camping at the end of May. I don't know if I am logistically going to be able to do it but I need to at least have him spend the night one night before we go away for a couple. Sometimes I feel like I am crazy for it being so hard but I would rather be this way than not caring at all.
Well I was hoping to end this with a couple of pictures of Joshua and Ellie but I didn't do so great with my camera phone this morning. Joshua just looks too cute in shorts that I wanted to share it with everyone. Hopefully I will be able to get a couple and get them posted.
Last night turned out to be a really great night for a baseball game. I am praying that Friday will be as nice as we are going to our first Orioles game of the season. We decided to go to this one because it is a fireworks night. I am really excited as I think the Orioles have a great chance of proving all the critics wrong. We should have a good game because the pitcher should be Garrett Olson who has been doing exceptionally well since coming up to the majors.
I am also a little anxious as we are going to let Joshua stay overnight for the first time. I know that he will be ok just as Ellie has been when she has spent the night away. It will be good to have a night out without having to worry about the children but I still feel a little guilty. I wanted to do this now as we consider the possibility of leaving him while we go camping at the end of May. I don't know if I am logistically going to be able to do it but I need to at least have him spend the night one night before we go away for a couple. Sometimes I feel like I am crazy for it being so hard but I would rather be this way than not caring at all.
Well I was hoping to end this with a couple of pictures of Joshua and Ellie but I didn't do so great with my camera phone this morning. Joshua just looks too cute in shorts that I wanted to share it with everyone. Hopefully I will be able to get a couple and get them posted.
Monday, May 12, 2008
I'm really struggling with this one....
Okay so just a few days ago I was saying that I was struggling with understanding the Lord. Well here I am again never thinking that I would be dealing with yet again another circumstance that unless the Lord does a miracle of epic proportions another baby/babies are going to need help.
Yesterday my mom was talking with my younger sister Cheryl and she told my mom she was pregnant. Not only is she pregnant but they say she is having twins and that she is about 7 weeks along. Can I just scream.........AHHHHHHHHH, she told my mom that she just didn't have enough money to buy her birth control. Ok so buy condoms...sorry I digress. One would think after having to give your first child up for adoption that you would do whatever you had too to make sure it didn't happen again. For all those thinking like I did that 7 weeks was to early for them to know that she was having twins, she was in the emergency room not knowing she was pregnant and was having pain or getting sick. Not exactly sure what made her go to the hospital but I guess through all the questions they did a pregnancy test and then a sonogram.
Once again I am left remembering all the scriptures but I am really struggling right now. I mean WHY would she be able to have no problems and yet I know so many people that have had all kinds of challenges getting pregnant, carrying to term, having babies with health challenges, etc. I guess my other struggle is that I know that Life is a gift from the Lord and I know that these babies are special and the Lord has a plan and a purpose for them. On the same token why couldn't these babies be given to anyone of the good Christian couples out there that so desperately want to have children but can't. I know that there really isn't an answer but it just seems so WRONG that these people who can't even take care of themselves have babies and you can't do anything about it until something horrible happens. I was asking my mom about the possibility since Cheryl has been documented having mental and emotional problems of them taking the babies away from the get go and she said there wasn't until something happens. Which I guess I knew but was hoping that maybe I was wrong.
Another thing that is a challenge for me to understand is we all knew that twins run in the family and that anyone of us could have them. So why her and not my older sister Jes or me. Either one of us would be able to have handled twins better than her. Plus the babies father isn't much better than she is and I don't know about his family but I have a feeling the are a lot like Dessiaree's mothers family. They aren't married and are currently living with his grandmother who has told them that they can't stay there with a baby. Which will probably mean that it will have to be my family that will eventually have to step in and make sure that they are being taken care of and they are ok. I certainly wouldn't depend on the pediatricians or hospitals that are taking care of them to make sure that everything is ok, Dessiaree had been seen two weeks prior to us seeing her and apparently the doctors either didn't see anything or didn't want to deal with it.
I think I am feeling numb right now. This weekend on Saturday I was able to go and see my brother Johnny in the detention center. It was so emotionally taxing and draining. On the one hand I feel very sorry for him and the other part of me tells me that it was his choices that put him there because he wouldn't listen to my mom. I can't imagine having to visit him for years that way. I pray that if you have never had to go and visit some in jail that you will never have too. Just sitting in the waiting room was hard it felt like the walls were so close and I am not usually claustrophobic. He is doing good and thankfully he said that they have him in lock down which keeps him from the general public, which we were very thankful. He said he has only had a few threats, but no one has tried to hurt him. He will be in the Harford County Detention center at least until May 28 I believe and then once that court date and sentence is given than they will move him down to Baltimore City. I am believing that the Judge will see the truth about the resisting arrest charges and that he will only get probation.
Well thanks for reading my rantings. I pray tomorrow I can tell you all the Mike won his softball game. He plays on our churches softball team.
Yesterday my mom was talking with my younger sister Cheryl and she told my mom she was pregnant. Not only is she pregnant but they say she is having twins and that she is about 7 weeks along. Can I just scream.........AHHHHHHHHH, she told my mom that she just didn't have enough money to buy her birth control. Ok so buy condoms...sorry I digress. One would think after having to give your first child up for adoption that you would do whatever you had too to make sure it didn't happen again. For all those thinking like I did that 7 weeks was to early for them to know that she was having twins, she was in the emergency room not knowing she was pregnant and was having pain or getting sick. Not exactly sure what made her go to the hospital but I guess through all the questions they did a pregnancy test and then a sonogram.
Once again I am left remembering all the scriptures but I am really struggling right now. I mean WHY would she be able to have no problems and yet I know so many people that have had all kinds of challenges getting pregnant, carrying to term, having babies with health challenges, etc. I guess my other struggle is that I know that Life is a gift from the Lord and I know that these babies are special and the Lord has a plan and a purpose for them. On the same token why couldn't these babies be given to anyone of the good Christian couples out there that so desperately want to have children but can't. I know that there really isn't an answer but it just seems so WRONG that these people who can't even take care of themselves have babies and you can't do anything about it until something horrible happens. I was asking my mom about the possibility since Cheryl has been documented having mental and emotional problems of them taking the babies away from the get go and she said there wasn't until something happens. Which I guess I knew but was hoping that maybe I was wrong.
Another thing that is a challenge for me to understand is we all knew that twins run in the family and that anyone of us could have them. So why her and not my older sister Jes or me. Either one of us would be able to have handled twins better than her. Plus the babies father isn't much better than she is and I don't know about his family but I have a feeling the are a lot like Dessiaree's mothers family. They aren't married and are currently living with his grandmother who has told them that they can't stay there with a baby. Which will probably mean that it will have to be my family that will eventually have to step in and make sure that they are being taken care of and they are ok. I certainly wouldn't depend on the pediatricians or hospitals that are taking care of them to make sure that everything is ok, Dessiaree had been seen two weeks prior to us seeing her and apparently the doctors either didn't see anything or didn't want to deal with it.
I think I am feeling numb right now. This weekend on Saturday I was able to go and see my brother Johnny in the detention center. It was so emotionally taxing and draining. On the one hand I feel very sorry for him and the other part of me tells me that it was his choices that put him there because he wouldn't listen to my mom. I can't imagine having to visit him for years that way. I pray that if you have never had to go and visit some in jail that you will never have too. Just sitting in the waiting room was hard it felt like the walls were so close and I am not usually claustrophobic. He is doing good and thankfully he said that they have him in lock down which keeps him from the general public, which we were very thankful. He said he has only had a few threats, but no one has tried to hurt him. He will be in the Harford County Detention center at least until May 28 I believe and then once that court date and sentence is given than they will move him down to Baltimore City. I am believing that the Judge will see the truth about the resisting arrest charges and that he will only get probation.
Well thanks for reading my rantings. I pray tomorrow I can tell you all the Mike won his softball game. He plays on our churches softball team.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Offically a soccer mom
Well, I guess not officially until July or August when Soccer season starts for Ellie. Her games will be up in Belcamp because the coach goes to Mikes mom's church and we had a chance to talk to him. I felt very good about how he coaches and what he allows and doesn't allow from the parents. I want her to have a good first experience and I think she should be able too with him.
The second part of becoming a soccer mom is of course the ride. So we have finally bit the bullet and gotten a mini van. Not just any mini van as you can all guess with Mike as my husband. We have most of the bells and whistles in our new vehicle. It is a '08 Honda Odyssey that had 8 miles on it when we purchased it on Monday. I have attached pictures of the new ride.
The second part of becoming a soccer mom is of course the ride. So we have finally bit the bullet and gotten a mini van. Not just any mini van as you can all guess with Mike as my husband. We have most of the bells and whistles in our new vehicle. It is a '08 Honda Odyssey that had 8 miles on it when we purchased it on Monday. I have attached pictures of the new ride.
Sorry the pictures are not much but they are from the camera phone taken by the sales person at about 11 O'clock at night. It took us 4 1/4 hours to get them to come to the price we wanted but they eventually did. We are now a 1 car family as Mike came to the decision to trade in his truck. Yes you read it right the truck is no more. He finally decided that between the gas and the fact that the truck wasn't gaining value and wasn't exactly a family car it was time. I told him that had to be his decision so we traded the car and truck and got the mini van with all the bells and whistles that he wanted.
For those that want to know more about the van you have to ask him because I don't have a clue other than it drives very nice. So I guess for a little bit we are going to continue to be a one car family until we can find a little puddle jumper for Mike to run to the bus stop and back. Ellie is just loving her new ride. The minute we get in the car she is putting on her head phones to watch her movie. Joshua at this point can't enjoy any of it as he is still rear facing but I am sure he will love that too.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Attempting to Blog
Ok, so I have been thinking about blogging for a long time as I have enjoyed reading my friends. I am not sure that I will be able to keep up with it as others, but here is my attempt and maybe sometime my wonderful husband will share his thoughts.
For any that are reading this and have been praying for Dessiaree I would like to give an up date. She is doing very well and her broken bones are healing. She has been able to have all of the casts removed and given the okay to do all that a four month old can do. On May 7 she had the 30 day parental rights hearing. The only problem was that no one made sure that the Dad my brother Johnny had a public defender from Baltimore City. I got to see first hand how my tax dollars are hard at work. Anyway we all get there and find out that it has been postponed till June 18 because he didn't have a lawyer. Even though nothing was decided some good did come out of our time. The court did decide to give the Department of Social Services (DSS) the ability to decide who can see Dessiaree, so my family will be able to see her again. Also we were told that the mother's side of the family will not be able to have visits. We are very thankful for that as Dessiaree, my brother, and her mother Shelly lived with her parents and no one did anything to protect this precious baby. The other good thing was that we were able to clear up some family misunderstandings.
Dessiaree has another court date set for June 18 and we are hoping that the Mother and her family will stop contesting everything. By that time both mother and father will have had their arraignments and will be made aware of the evidence against them. We are praying that justice and truth will prevail. I want all parties involved in what happened to Dessiaree to face the consequences but I don't want Johnny to be the scape goat since he was the one that took her to the hospital.
As my family walks through another trial I have to step back and remember that the Lord's hand is still here and working. I am reminded that we don't know what God has in store for us. We don't know what trials we will have to face. We don't know but the Lord does and we have to hold on with everything that we have in us. I was reminded today of our friends Lauren and Kevin and how the lost their little boy, while at the same time Mike and I were getting custody of my nephew Trent. I can remember at that time really questioning the Lord and not understanding how they couldn't have a healthy baby and my sister who wasn't married and couldn't even really take care of herself had a healthy whole baby. Yesterday I was in court for my brothers baby and that was on the 3rd anniversary of little Joseph going home to be with the Lord. Once again I have the same questions...Why Lord?? I know that I may never understand but I know that the Lord has used Joseph to touch many lives and I know that He has a plan and purpose for Dessiaree's life. I have struggled greatly with understanding why the Lord allows these things to happen. Why did He give Joseph to Kevin and Lauren only to take him away? Why did He allow Dessiaree to be abused the way she was, so helpless and small? I don't know but I know that the Lord was there for Lauren and Kevin. Watching them go through that and seeing how much they grew together and closer to the Lord was awe inspiring. What could have torn them apart had exactly the opposite effect. I know that only the Lord can do something so amazing.
It has always been a challenge for me to start and close something that I am writing so I will leave you with this; I pray that as you read the chronicles of my families life you will be blessed, encouraged, and maybe even laugh at the ups and downs and everything in between.
For any that are reading this and have been praying for Dessiaree I would like to give an up date. She is doing very well and her broken bones are healing. She has been able to have all of the casts removed and given the okay to do all that a four month old can do. On May 7 she had the 30 day parental rights hearing. The only problem was that no one made sure that the Dad my brother Johnny had a public defender from Baltimore City. I got to see first hand how my tax dollars are hard at work. Anyway we all get there and find out that it has been postponed till June 18 because he didn't have a lawyer. Even though nothing was decided some good did come out of our time. The court did decide to give the Department of Social Services (DSS) the ability to decide who can see Dessiaree, so my family will be able to see her again. Also we were told that the mother's side of the family will not be able to have visits. We are very thankful for that as Dessiaree, my brother, and her mother Shelly lived with her parents and no one did anything to protect this precious baby. The other good thing was that we were able to clear up some family misunderstandings.
Dessiaree has another court date set for June 18 and we are hoping that the Mother and her family will stop contesting everything. By that time both mother and father will have had their arraignments and will be made aware of the evidence against them. We are praying that justice and truth will prevail. I want all parties involved in what happened to Dessiaree to face the consequences but I don't want Johnny to be the scape goat since he was the one that took her to the hospital.
As my family walks through another trial I have to step back and remember that the Lord's hand is still here and working. I am reminded that we don't know what God has in store for us. We don't know what trials we will have to face. We don't know but the Lord does and we have to hold on with everything that we have in us. I was reminded today of our friends Lauren and Kevin and how the lost their little boy, while at the same time Mike and I were getting custody of my nephew Trent. I can remember at that time really questioning the Lord and not understanding how they couldn't have a healthy baby and my sister who wasn't married and couldn't even really take care of herself had a healthy whole baby. Yesterday I was in court for my brothers baby and that was on the 3rd anniversary of little Joseph going home to be with the Lord. Once again I have the same questions...Why Lord?? I know that I may never understand but I know that the Lord has used Joseph to touch many lives and I know that He has a plan and purpose for Dessiaree's life. I have struggled greatly with understanding why the Lord allows these things to happen. Why did He give Joseph to Kevin and Lauren only to take him away? Why did He allow Dessiaree to be abused the way she was, so helpless and small? I don't know but I know that the Lord was there for Lauren and Kevin. Watching them go through that and seeing how much they grew together and closer to the Lord was awe inspiring. What could have torn them apart had exactly the opposite effect. I know that only the Lord can do something so amazing.
It has always been a challenge for me to start and close something that I am writing so I will leave you with this; I pray that as you read the chronicles of my families life you will be blessed, encouraged, and maybe even laugh at the ups and downs and everything in between.
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